we just

had a popcorn eating contest

i think i won even though his mouth is uhh big ahahaha

tomorrow is

the birthday of charlie :]

he will be 24

& thanksgiving

...fud?

college is swiz

& i now have this

all i need now is time

my finals are getting there :]

change

is what i am hoping for
obama will be our new president in january

our economy needs a pickup, and our nation desperately needs a makeover; hopefully i voted for the right candidate and this is positive

i got charlie to register & vote so that was good :]

last weekend we went down to chillicothe and i got to see my family and some friends :D i also got to see my sisters and give heidi half of her birthday present XD

dane came over one day and we sketchy sketched and hung out
then the next day we went to dane.s house and played rockband with him & andy

this for me was v. awesome because i finnnnallly got to play it for the first time & let me tell you i am extremely a.d.d. playing that game. haha my drumming skills are not up to par XD our band was called stars, rainbows & puke and we are definitely going to warped tour next year ♥

ps last day of this semester is december 12th [:

! geekalert.

i got a new macbook for college & it.s working out pretty well. i just bring it to all my classes and keep notes, project info, sketches and scans, everything i need on it

sweet.

i am uber busy with college:

i.ve basically gotten all good grades, except i got a c+ last week.

today i found out i aced my marketing midterm, meaning i have the option to skip out on the final

i hope to get some hang time thanksgiving break so be looking out for that..

uhhh charlie.s tag is sticking out

ps:

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

ps nerd

download this browser

i am lazy

but i a/effected someone so if you can read it sweet, if not:


college eats my life

charlie eats my face

we have to drive an hour tomorrow

he is making me a sandwich

i need sleep soon

byebye:]

college started

busy!

:]

nu's

i got to see some family on my mom.s side and then we went to visit some on my dad.s side. my days were filled with music, cigarettes, family drama and chicken chasing [true story..]

last week[end] i went down to chilly coffee and i got my air conditioner fixed :] alsooo i got to see my sisters again :]]]]]

this week[end] = i got to see my cousin paige & fazollis has good torte :o my cousin brandon got married and my sleeping schedule is more fucked up than ever XD

next weekend i will surely be traveling around the entire continent of spain, where they speak mexican

i have a new boyfriend named charlie. he is altogether too nice. we started going out either the last day of june or the first day of july. he makes me laugh, plays the geetar, is obsessed with hacky sack, likes art and computerness, saves semi aborted babies from sudden death, is 23, cute as fuck, his middle name is eli, and he kisses me alot :] he also happens to be sleeping

college starts soon
i refuse to fail
i have amazing friends
my life = wonderful

chilly tuesday :]

kthnxend.

frankly mister shankly

my weekend was awesome:]

+ i got to see dane plus alli! we had drawing and the longest movie in life that we didn.t bother to finish // dane falls asleep weird and he makes noises that sound like death ahaha
+ i had fun at partyness & got to see old frans & meet nu ones XD
- i got sick on [a] friend.s couch [b] friend.s hat [c] friend.s chucks [d] friend.s floor oopsy T_T
+ kissed cute gurr
+ met cute boy
+ another one
- am still sick
+ we watched fido :]
- need scripties soon :o
+ hopefully will not be sick this weekend :] pride is coming up +++

and the biggest + by far =
i got to see my sisters for like five hours! and my stepsister is getting married in august ftw?
yay :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

the end<3

tim.

"thats the nature of it all isn't it?

love

and

well everything else

the important ones dont realize how important they are

they can trash your life with as little effort as you'd pick up a pen

and you just have to hope that they don't cross that line"

oh fuck

thank you earth for the terrible morning

if that wouldn.t have happened then i wouldn.t have experienced one of the happiest moments in my life so far

i feel so fucking refreshed beyond words
if there really was something out there
i.d be forever in it.s debt

i was thinking about missing ben and nick and tim and people
and i was totally writing a song about how most of my good friends live far away
and just then he called
nick got my letter
and he was really really happy! he said it was beyond amazing and that it basically saved his life
& he liked birdyness and cicadaness ahaha
plusss he <3s the life cd
he said he wasn.t expecting it to actually be happy, or at least not that much
& he laughed for a long time and it made him so happy :]]]
he.d been trying to get ahold of aloke.s 'love is distance' so i talked to someone on last fm and got it for him and he was :D!

i live for making people happy

so many awesome connections
and fuck ahhh
i feel like a little kid
love

we love each other but we.re far away
i can either drop it now and possibly miss out on all this _________ [whatever it is] or i can 'run with it' as tim says :]

& i think i know what i wanna do
he is an awesome friend
he makes me so happy right now
he.s all nice and funny and sweet and awesome and cute and ahhhh
he.s pure

i love it when i meet someone who is so genuine

it gives me hope and knowledge that i am not the only one who feels like this
i feel so fucking alive

constantly.

i feel like every single fucking thing i do should be a tribute to my life and the people who are in it and the world needs so much change

i am just one person but i have so much heart

i miss abby and i love her. i love all my friends! life is what we make of it and i am getting stronger and happier and more whole by the second<3

ps. once upon a time we made a picture with a really really really long story:
and my little robot guy officially owns you [:

sick fuck.

i can.t help but miss abby
i ran across her page on psyke a minute ago


this girl is dead now.



and it.s sinking in alllll over again

we had so much fucking in common. bipolar. depress. snow. other things. if i were as clear headed then as i am now i think i could have helped her. but that.s what we all say. i just don.t understand why we survived and she died. i hate it when i don.t understand things. but i guess i.ll never know so let.s move it on <3

things need to change
i feel like more things need to change than i could ever do on my own sometimes


we used to be able to talk to each other
and now i just talk to her.

she was amazing beyond words ♥
stay strong+

weekend hearts & origami birds

thursday = we had random hailstormness. it was pretty but the two outer lanes of my street were flooded :o

friday night was the 08 relay for live event at the fairgrounds. i volunteered again this year haha i got to paint faces for little kids & they were tres cute and it was awesome though would have been more awesome if it was as big as last year, but people left after we got the first round of storms XD cutest little girl ever told me i was a 'really great artist' haha and there was also an equally cute little boy who was my favorite<3

saturday = me + alli + pancakes & bread = park + duck feeding <3 we got to feed baby ducks <3333 and there was one white duckling that was all <3333 ohh and we got to feed baby swans and they swim funny ooohh and geese... from hell. they were all uber close to me like feedmenowwwwwfghrekghl kinda scary :o i made a jump rope out of weeping willow branchness and we put flowers in each others hair haha good times

also um. never light scary firework things unless you completely know what they.re supposed to do beforehand.. the box just said 'light fuse and run away' ahaha but it was fun <3 ohhh and sparklers :]]]] me and alli painted for awhile too but she did.t know what to paint so i told her she should make something in memory of abby [she already made this awesome ass collage for her] but instead we made ben on a hilltop ahaha he looks like the main person in munch.s 'the scream' <3 and he is indeed on a hilltop with his fiery red hair as his crowning glory haha funfunfun :] i got to see carly for a little bit too but not long enough. i am worried about her but i can.t say anythingfdlhgrhhler people need to work things out for themselves sometimes. hope++fully she.ll get better <3

today i decided that i should probably get birthdayness to nick considering his birthday was before mine...................
his card has a little monster man with his lego cake <3

turn your head sideways and you.ll totally see it XD
oh also i made him the biggest playlist on earth which turned into the life cd.
don.t judge. just own it

Wannabe - Spice Girls
This Charming Man - Death Cab Version
Vampire - Antsy Pants
Hands Down - Dashboard
A Crow Left Of The Murder - Incubus
Out Of Range - Ani Difranco Live Version
The River - Good Charlotte
Vindicated - Dashboard
New Wave - Against Me!
Nice To Know You - Incubus
Overcome - Rx Bandits
Unity - Operation Ivy
Handlebars - Flobots
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised - Gil Scott Heron
Come Together - Joe Crocker Version
Be Somebody - Fort Minor
I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
This is For Real - MTNCTYSNDTRK
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Live Like Your Were Dying - Tim McGraw
One More With Feeling - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.
Fall Back Down - Rancid
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequin
You've Got A Friend in Me - Randy Newman
Loose Lips - Kimya Dawson
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Violent Femmes Version
Headfirst For Halos - MCR
Blue Suede Shoes - Elvis Presley
Miss New Booty - Bubba Sparxx
Roflmao! - Oxhorn
Steal My Sunshine - Len
F - MSI
Shut Me Up - MSI
Deja Vrooom! - Rory
Ugly - The Exies
Where I Belong - MTNCTYSNDTRK
Drinking Song - Jenny Owen Youngs
Jumper - Third Eye Blind
Stop! - Against Me!
Real World - Big & Rich
You Give Love A Bad Name - Atreyu Version
We've Had Enough - ALK3
Jesus (Christ) - Brand New
Sowing Season - Brand New
The Archer's Bows Have Broken - Brand New
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Let Me Out - Future Leaders Of The World
Anxiety - Black Eyed Peas Ft. Papa Roach
High Road - Fort Minor
Six Foot Town - Big & Rich
Tubthumping - Chumbawamba!
Long Drive Home - Say No More
The Competition - Kimya Dawson
Take What You Take - Lily Allen
Make Yourself - Incubus
Chick Habit - April March
Mouthwash - Kate Nash
Crawled Out Of The Sea (Interlude) - Laura Marling
Wish You Were Here - Incubus
Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind
All I Want Is You - Barry Louis Polisar
Break Myself - Something Corporate
Love Me Do - The Beatles
Guernica - Brand New
I Want You To Want Me - NOFX Version
Eight Days A Week - The Beatles
Hey Ya - Lorene Drive Version
Izzo (H.O.V.A) - Jay-Z
No Diggity - Blackstreet
O.P.P. - Naughty By Nature
Super Freak - Rick James
Low - brokenclyde Version
New Friend Request - Gym Class Heroes
The Only Time - NIN
Teenagers - MCR
The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
Take This Job & Shove It - Dead Kennedys
(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party) - The Beastie Boys
None Of My Friends Are Punks - Allister
Estelle - Biirdie
One Week - BNL
Viva La Persistance - Kimya Dawson
Babies Of The 80's - Something Corporate
I Feel Weird - Steel Train
Excitable Boy - Warren Zevon
Not A Pretty Girl - Ani Difranco
Loser - Beck
Prelude 12/21 - AFI
Night Terror - Laura Marling
Ghosts - Laura Marling
Pieces Of A Puzzle - The 4Q's
Failure By Design - Brand New
Hit The Floor - LP
Creature - Atreyu
Deanne The Arsonist - Atreyu
Blow - Atreyu
Demonology & Heartache - Atreyu
Where's Your Head At - Basement Jaxx
Mercury Rising - FATA
Institutionalized - Senses Fail Version
Sick Or Sane (Fifty For A Twenty) - Senses Fail
Unwell - Matchbox 20
Can't Finish What You Started - MTNCTYSNDTRK
Push - Matchbox 20
Right Now - Fort Minor
In Regards To Myself - Underoath
Drive - Incubus
Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life - Third Eye Blind
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles
The Future Freaks Me Out - MTNCTYSNDTRK
Mean People Suck - NOFX
Warning - Incubus
Turn - Socratic
Parade - Pretty Girls Make Graves
Live This Life - Big & Rich
Autumn's Monologue - FATA
The Fiction We Live - FATA
Our House - Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young
Ebonics Language Lesson - Eddie Murphy
The Emo Kid Song - Adam & Andrew
Lounge Act - The Album Leaf
Old Time Rock & Roll - Bob Segar
Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry
Dude (Looks Like A Lady) - Aerosmith
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Ring Of Fire - Social Distortion Version
Kansas City Shuffle - J Ralph
Wild Wild West - Will Smith
Strange Disease - Prozzak
Turning Japanese - Incubus Version
Red-Eye - The Album Leaf
Everyday - Buddy Holly
Closing Time - Third Eye Blind
Real World - Matchbox 20
21& Invincible - Something Corporate
Sex & Candy - Marcy Playground
Hot In Herre - Jenny Owen Youngs Version
Kick My Ass - Big & Rich
Teh N00b Song - Pure Pwnage
Bite To Break Skin - The String Quartet
Love Is Distance - Aloke

i have dinner to make, but another reason today is awesome is this

:] end.

5 am and making people happy

5:27 AM
i think imma try to sleep again
Yahoo!
Nick
5:28 AM
sad face
5:28 AM
i miss you
5:28 AM
you know what i was just thinking about when i was outside
Yahoo!
†eresa marie cecilia censored™
5:29 AM
i know i miss you too :///
5:29 AM
my head just hurts right now annd sick
5:29 AM
ohgfdedeshertf
5:29 AM
whatwhat!!
Yahoo!
Nick
5:30 AM
i was thinking about those days
5:30 AM
when i would get high early in the morning when the sun was coming up and going to the park to call you so we could be silly together
5:30 AM
those were seriously some of the happiest times of my life
Yahoo!
†eresa marie cecilia censored™
5:31 AM
:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
5:31 AM
metooooooo\m///////////
5:31 AM
we own the shittt :]]]]]]]]]]
Yahoo!
Nick
5:32 AM
when i get sad i think back on those times. you dont even know how happy you made me then
Yahoo!
†eresa marie cecilia censored™
5:32 AM
hehe
5:32 AM
you.re awesome :]]]]
Yahoo!
Nick
5:32 AM
well youre super fantastic
Yahoo!
†eresa marie cecilia censored™
5:32 AM
hahaha
Yahoo!
Nick
5:32 AM
maybe some day we can have those times again

:]

x2!

after i found le phone i was happy to find birthday texteseses when it turned on<3

i never knew the process of taking back what's mine had so much paperwork >_<

yesterday: i took possibly all the sero in the world, okay not really but... and i sketched my book half full and fell in love with laura marling all over again ahhh other than that / my dad sent me a two sentence email. thus breaking his not talking to me for the first time in forever rule.. and i still have no clue what to say to himdlsjghls

so onto todayyayayyy!
i have no clue what i wanna do with it yet but

as of today i am officially 20
...scary!

only one more year till i can legally get drunk and therefore get made fun of because i don.t :]
anyways i have no clue about what this year will bring so here.s some things i learned over le last year of my life.

powerful and amazing are not always synonymous with positive

most step mothers are inadvertently evil :o haven.t you watched cinderella?

the perfect time to drive around columbus is 3 am if your wish is to get stopped by copious amounts of cops who will most likely think you.re drunk

if someone has something of yours, it doesn.t count as stealing if you take it back. hearts included

the song voice on tape is the first song i ever heard by jenny owen youngs. thank you stephanie

jenny owen youngs is the hardest thing to type quickly

stop! by against me is awesome. thank you boy i forgot your name

never give your favorite guitar to your favorite boyfriend because he will someday become your least favorite ex boyfriend and in a drunken rage bust your amp and break all your strings

at first dane cook is annoying, but he grows on you like a tumor

the only way to stop negativity is positivity

balance everything the best you can

lunesta is unfortunately the shittiest sleeping pill ever

nothing can ever really stop you from getting something you want. good or bad

standing up for what.s right is harder than you.d think, which is probably why most people don.t seem to do it

love is all about giving and nothing about getting

loneliness does not always come when you are physically alone

according to tim, everything is really nothing & vice versa with a repeating decimal

brokenclyde.s version of low makes me laugh lots. BOOTSWITHLEFURRRRRAAAAWWHH

never sleep at a rest stop if you are driving through the mountains at four in the morning or you will come very close to getting raped

for the better, you cannot change anyone but yourself

friends from high school as room mates are bad news

filling out the paperwork stack from hell and going to mediation to get stolen things back from now ex friends/room mates is useless because they won.t show up and you end up having to take them to court anyway

best friends are the ones who are there for you through all the times no matter how shitty they can get

someone older than you is not always wiser

if something/someone seems too good to be true, they probably are

music can only get better and better

the same with art ahhhhhhh yes

also i was looking up advertising stuff for school and i found:

which to me is helpfulingenuity@it.sfinest.org/awesome

i thought

my day was shitty

and then i talked to tim
and his car was hit today
and i realize that i.m fine

i just read this thing

that says if you fall seven times stand up eight

i.m so constantly working on that; i think my friends should too
i am tired of saying nice things to people and getting negativity
i hate how when i tell my best friend he is a good person he disagrees. he is so much better than i might ever be yet he thinks i am the one who is good
if you ask for my [probably terrible] advice, and then do nothing with it much less give input on how you do expect whatever situation to get better
i just don.t get what you want from me

i also hate it how people go to such lengths to become my friend just to totally fuck whatever straightness i had in my life at that time. one my friend was clean until like two days ago. i am clean. i don.t wanna miss anything. another of my friends is telling me that if i take my medications it.s bad... another friend is being all weight obsessed and askhflhsf i could go on but the rest is all disgusting so screw it


also mindfuck
my real cat is sooo trying to murder my stuffed cat atm

listen to

handlebars by flobots.

my brain

is a hole

word on the street is

you or someone you know may have an std. sick.

call me up before you.re dead

we can make some plans instead

we won.t stop until somebody calls the cops
&& even then we.ll start again & just pretend thattttt

nothingeverhappened.

ALLiWANTEDWASAPEPSi

that.s what i feel like

everyone keeps telling me their problems but i have my own right now and no one to tell them to

don.t get me wrong, i love helping people


but fuck. where is the balance>?

i am going insane

eeee teee phoen hoemmmm

topic: suicide. yet another person from highschool...

i just found out from my friend dane
luckily however this person is not dead<3

why are we all so disjointed when everything is connected?
we can.t possibly be that fucked up, we can.t


i am not nearly this person.s best friend or anything
in fact i probably annoy him

but this person has been through a lot.
everyone has after abby died.
everyone is just acting like they.re over it

this person does not realize how much they are going to help people after they get out of college
what they do will be amazing

this person has so much potential and heart

now instead
they might have to go to jail for various charges involving the day all of this happened

we are all close but we refuse to admit it
and we just push each other away to the same old lonely fates

what.the.fuck.world.are.we.in?


so i won.t do this anymore.


get a hold of someone
the positive could surprise you +++++

video killed what we once stood for

who we gonna look to now>?
if these walls could speak
i wouldn.t tell them anything
don.t ask me, don't ask me

if these walls could speak i wouldn.t tell them anything

press eject, and give me the tape
if you know what.s good for you

ghetto blasting on the basement floor.

SXY NEVAR LFTTT.

sxynvrlft.ytmnd.com

why__________

do i constantly lose my lighter[s........]

did that laydee hit my car in richmond

can i never decide who i want to date

can i never decide if i even want to date anyone

do i have so many things to read on myspace when i.ve only been gone for like a week

do i always look down in that window and try to catch my neighbor watching teh pr0n.

[/end]

i

scheduled my classes for fall semester yesterday
too bad i.m to lazy to find/post them right nowowow
:o


today i is going to teh richmond to visit teh tim & jenn & peoples

yaycarlongtripmusicscreamingonhighway<3

eyelieeek [life]

&&drivingincarsforlotsofhoursandscreamingtomymusicwayuploudk

i also like

that
that
thatt ^-^

i get to see tim in like a week +hope+fully

& jenn eyeeee hope

&&& probably the tyler one:/ seeing as he.s living with tim now
& hopefully not garrett.

i x3 like

that i finnnnnally have saved enough dollars to get my septum done
me + carly = holes in our nose

i x4 like

that i got talk talks to a certain mister named nick today for lots of timess && he.s cyuut
hah the trees are VIVID

i x5 like

that denzel washington is v. hot in american gangster

i x6 like

that i have not run out of cigarettes all week

i x7 like

need to figure out who eye like the most

i x8 like

think this chick likes meeh

i x9 like

got to see ben a few weeks ago but um. looking out the window.. shooting. two people. that was kinda weird but we had it down hah. best thing ever = ben scrambling/searching for his gun cabinet key in every left shoe he owns

i x10 like

want to hang out with the following soon:

++tim++jenn++carly[mitch?]++tiera++thenicetyler++danielle++paige++dane++alli++stephanie++

i.m excited


holy fuck
happiness in the form of yay (:

i.m not down with typing it allllll out

but college = 'medically withdrawn'

i have had a lotttt of things happen this year and it.s just like the most recent thing was the last fucking straw. i am way too far in over my head in my life right now. that just proves it. so now i will do positive things i like until the time i go back comes and hopefully i won.t feel like such a worthless piece of shit by that time and actually not suck at something i do

so in a twist of fucked up events i actually have spare time [tillnextsemester]
to like


hang out

isn.t that fucking insane?
wayyy

but i like it




i am seeing tim like soon. and well. painting.snow.music.smoke.andfuckingchilllllllllll

finally

& [hopefully]

road trip to somewhere.word.

ps. i have a bag of jewels for you

& i can.t sleep

omgosh sick again

i haves a sinus infection of doom
and my throat feels like it is constantly on fire

ps i am not a firebreather :[

and am too lazy to type more than a few x.s to entertain you.

(xxx) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(?) smoked anything else
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car

(x) been in love
(x?) been dumped
(?) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight

(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date

(x) lied to a friend
(me chels & steph used to think mr. clark was cute) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone die

(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar

(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
(x) been moshing at a concert

(xxxxxxx) been in an abusive relationship
(xx) taken painkillers
(:]) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x burr) made a snow angel

( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x :o) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(xxx) fallen asleep at work/school

( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake

(x) been tickled
(x?) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(xxx) been misunderstood
(wtf) pet a reindeer/goat

(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(xxx) been in a car accident

(x) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight

(x) hated the way you look
(xx) witnessed a crime
(XD) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
() been obsessed with post-it notes
() squished barefoot through the mud
(xxxxxxx) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying

(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x!) played cops and robbers
(xxxxxx) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(:]) sung karaoke
(i made them a happy face) paid for a meal with only coins

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(xxxxxxx ahaha) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(xxx) kissed in the rain
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) had a wish come true
(uhh no.) humped a monkey
( ) screamed "erection" in class
( ) ate dog food
(?) told a complete stranger you loved them
(xxxxxxxxxxx) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress

( ) fucked in a park
(x) fucked in the bathoom
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) kissed a fish

(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(xxxx) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(xxxxxxxx) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
(prob) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(all the time!) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken fight
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(xxxx) been easily amused
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

wow

drama.



spring break is next week
but a bunch of kinda shitty things have happened
and i has no motiviation to do my aaahhhrtt
it.s kind of on the back burner right now.

my anti depressants are not anti depressing me.
i feel like i can barely get out of bed
let alone function if i do

like in color concept class today. i read the hue/value/chroma requirements 8 times or so

it just did not click.
seemed like some other language.

i hate college right now.
after the hospital mess i am behind. way behind. & still sick even though my medicine is out :\

i have
gotten confused about everyone

ben [bestfriend1]
i miss. does he miss me.?

tim [bestfriend2]
is too h'd out to notice that he is fucking up his life and worrying everone on the side..

nate [old likerboy]
moved. not to pa but to kentucky?

james [old boyfriend]
asked me out. & still loves me

but who do i love
him
but we are messy
sometimes i feel like i love no one

it is a bad feeling

it makes me feel like a bad person

down w. the sickness :[

seeeew.

i.ve managed to get sicker..

saturday night around 11 i couldn.t breathe.
my ex[james] was there so he took me to the emergency room & called my mom.

they gave my an iv drip and then another iv with some medicines in it.
i went to sleep :]
mmmh
then i woke up
and we went to taco bell
i ate a TAQUITO
not the best thing for a sick person, but the only place open at 5 am on campus..

went home
james stayed over & my mom ended up staying the night as well.. on the couch 0_o

anyways.
sunday i feel like shit.
sleep all day on & off
literally

i.m talking like 16 hours.
finally have some energy to get up
i go take a piss & when i get ready to leave the bathroom i see this in the mirror..






so yeah.
needless to say
i don.t go to school.
instead i call my mom & ask her if she can take me back to the ER [she blows me off]
i keep trying to tell her i.m seriously sick. i mean come on. i look like a sad leopard kitty girl and am also extremely dizzy whenever i stand up/attempt to walk.. wtf

of yeah.
and i can.t eat.
i.ve been eating soup.
oh yeah.
and more soup
:] not that i don.t like soup. but i.d prefer something along with. say.. something solid. & with protein perhaps.


anywaysss i email my mum the pics and she finally realizes i am not faking it & takes me back to the doctor.
6 hour wait time.
more ivs
i think i fell asleep again
didn.t know where i was
somehow we got back to my house and today i woke up to my kitteh sitting on my boobs purring in my face

however.
i still feel like shit.
basically the only thing i can do is lay down.
which is boring
so i internet.
music.
read.
sleep.sleep.sleep.
hydrate.


oi

:]]]]]]]]

i think. the stupidest thing i have ever done. [edit]

removed.

busy

everything.

everything.

updates = when i have time.