i broke up with james craig on his birthday, the 25th. i didn't even make his cake. he was terribly drunk and acting like a complete idiot. the whole ordeal i just wish not to relive. it is so odd that right when you start to think you can count on someone, they let you down. i feel like i just wasted the last two years (& some months) of my life on this person. we are still friends i suppose, but are we really? if i really needed something, could i rely on him to help me? i do not know. not knowing things is what gets to me, because i feel so unsure.
i'm glad i did it, but i feel bad at the same time. he needs to learn to grow up, and i'm not sure that is something he can handle. he is also not on any medication at this point, which makes him unstable and explosive whether he sees it or not.
i have two more boxes of things, and then i will be completely moved out of that apartment. college is coming in august, and there is this beautiful apartment not half a mile from the school which i fell in love with today. today, today. it is gorgeous. it is in the historic building registry for the city & it was built in the 1930's. it's absolutely wonderful!
i am so nervous about college starting, making new friends, moving again, so many things.
i have been very confused lately.
at this very point in time i must go because my cat is biting my leg(?) & i need some smokes.
ta (:
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